


I Just Remember, I Was Lonely

by apologycatastrophe



Category: Creepypasta - Fandom
Genre: AU?, Fluff, Ghosts, Haunting, Loneliness, Mentioned violence, Mild Delusions, One-Sided Attraction, Other, Out of Character, Personal Takes on Characters, death mentions, dubious touching, gender neutral reader, over explanations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-10-18 12:42:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17581070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apologycatastrophe/pseuds/apologycatastrophe
Summary: He didn’t remember why he even decided to go to that stupid party. He kept racking his brain for a reason but no definitive one ever came up.Maybe it was to continue tracking his latest victim, find some new things to mess around with when trying to scare them. But crowds weren’t his go-to, they were too loud to make out any actual words and from a phones point of view? An absolute nightmare, they might as well put his scare tactics to shame. Well maybe not that far, actually.So why did he even decide to follow along? His last ditch effort of making some sense of his actions was simple; he was lonely.





	1. Every stranger makes me feel safer

**Author's Note:**

> So while I was working on that other fic I have up I decided to write this. Why? I do not know. The idea for this fic was based off the song "I was all over her" by Salvia Palth. 
> 
> Anyways this is a personal take on the character and aftermath of Ben drowned I guess. Sort of an AU with ~added features~.

He didn’t remember why he even decided to go to that stupid party. He kept racking his brain for a reason but no definitive one ever came up.  
Maybe it was to continue tracking his latest victim, find some new things to mess around with when trying to scare them. But crowds weren’t his go-to, they were too loud to make out any actual words and from a phones point of view? An absolute nightmare, they might as well put his scare tactics to shame. Well maybe not that far, actually.  
  
So why did he even decide to follow along? His last ditch effort of making some sense of his actions was simple; he was lonely.  
Actually, maybe he was better off not having an answer to his unexplainable actions. Sometimes you just do things because you can.  
  
Instead of going with his usual phone haunting, Ben decided that the noise could be better dealt with in person. Or well, in ghost.  
So there he was, sulking along the tree line as he watched his current victim stride into a house that reeked of teenage hysteria. _‘This would absolutely end well’,_ He thought with a huff.  
  
Following along, he made sure not to make too much noise as he phased through the door. The logistics of ghost-hood, as he thought of it, were something he still had yet to grasp even after this long.  
  
He couldn’t remember how long it’d been since his death; at least 6 or 8 years. He barely knew the person he was before his death. His past identity was simple as far as he could recall, just a kid who liked to play The Legend Zelda and died by drowning. Now he was stuck doing and being whatever all of this was.  
  
He was practically invisible when he did this, at least to the average human being. But he could be heard, that he learned very early on. Touching and moving inanimate objects worked the same as it did when he was alive, phasing through things had to be actively thought of if he wanted it to work.  
  
Touching real, living things, however. That was the real enigma. Ben could feel them, yes, but whether they could feel him or not was a mixed bag. Not to mention how phasing through them had worked out.

  
Taking in the scene around him, he felt severely overwhelmed almost immediately. For the hermit his victim was, this sure was the loudest and most crowded place he’d ever had the misfortune of seeing.  
The house wasn’t messy per se but it was definitely not clean. The living room he had phased his way into had plenty of trash in it, wrappers from food and drinks on the floor, said food and drinks on a coffee table that was half the way to falling over.  
Whoever decided to throw this party was going to have one hell of a mess to clean up afterward.  
  
The music that played wasn’t anything he could recall, not that it surprised him that much. It played through a speaker hooked up to tv, amplifying its sound to the point the house might as well shook from it.  
People danced, they talked and laughed together, some stayed close to the walls in an attempt to shy away from the chaos. _‘Understandable,’_ Ben thought to himself as he looked at the few who did.  
  
Only then did he realize he had quickly lost sight of his current target. A quiet grumble wouldn’t have been heard amongst the crowd as he maneuvered his way through it to find someone of interest to occupy him for the time being.  
  
His eyes were drawn to a particularly huddled figure in a corner, balled up almost to the point of collapsing in on themselves. They were dressed in warm clothes to combat the cold weather, though they had to be wearing a size too large as the hoodie they wore nearly covered their entire form.  
  
Something about them piqued his interest and he found himself looming toward their figure. As Ben got closer he could read their face far better; the harshness of their expression could only be described as viciously sour, eyes cascaded to their hands to reveal that they had a phone with them.  
_‘Makes more sense as to why they were practically folding in on themselves,’_ Ben thought as he all but nearly pressed himself against them to see what exactly what they were doing.  
  
(Y/n): Are you serious? You promised you’d bring me home when I wanted to leave.  
  
(F/n): I know what I said but please can we stay for like another hour or something? Pretty please! I finally have a shot with you know who and if I leave now I’ll be sending the wrong signals!  
  
(Y/n): Wrong signals of what? A thirsty bastard who can’t fulfill promises?  
  
(F/n): Oh shut up, why can’t you just unwind a little? I didn’t just drag you along for nothing, I wanted you to have fun!  
  
(Y/n): This is in no way fun to me, I’m up against a wall in the living room while you get to first base with the babe of your dreams. I’ll let you have 30 minutes but please for the love of god don’t make me wait any longer than that.  
  
(F/n): Fine, it’s a deal. Also, you think I’ll get to first base tonight :0?  
  
And that was when they shut off their phone, tucking it into their pocket and changing positions a bit. A pout now taking form on their face as they crossed their arms, Ben tried to think of the last time he saw someone look so cute when mad.  
  
It wasn’t too terribly uncommon he found himself being attracted to a stranger, in fact, he’d argue it had been happening far more often as of recent. Nothing really had changed, he was simply admiring the way people had a tendency to look nowadays. _‘That was a strange thought,’_ He dismissed it, blowing it off as simply being exhausted from the energetic atmosphere.  
  
That did raise a thought, however; what was the frustrated and cute person beside him going to do until 30 minutes were up? Not only that, what was he going to do when they left?  
He didn’t have much time to ponder why he felt saddened by the thought of them leaving as they stood from their slouch, moving through the crowd at a brisk pace.  
  
Following along, he watched as they stopped for a moment to pull their phone out of their pocket. They slouched against the closest wall, opening a contact and beginning to write a message.  
  
(Y/n): Hey, Steven, I know we aren’t super close friends or anything but I was wondering if it would be cool if I took a breather in the study? (F/n) dragged me here and I’m getting a little overwhelmed.  
  
Steven: Sure, just don’t mess with the computer and make sure the books stay in one piece.  
  
(Y/n): Thank you, Steven, you’re a lifesaver.  
  
They pushed the phone back into their pocket, continuing down the hall till they met one of the few closed doors. As they entered the room, Ben could practically feel the tension they contained unweave, expression changing from a scowl to drained.  
They sat on the couch near the only window in the room, hands propping their head up as they closed their eyes for a moment.  
  
It almost felt as if something changed within Ben at that moment, his expression was already beginning to soften but now? God, how could he not? They looked so peaceful all tired like that, breathing becoming far more gentle after the initial change in the atmosphere.  
He was letting his guard down and he knew it as he drifted towards them, sitting right next to them on the couch.  
  
They looked up, eyes opening toward his spot. Tired yet warm, kind eyes bore into his, leaving him to feel near breathless. He wasn’t even alive, he didn’t need to breathe and yet here they were, leaving him near gulping like a fish out of water. And they had no idea they were doing it.  
  
They stared in Ben’s general direction for a couple more seconds before shaking their head and smiling to themselves. “How foolish of me,” they said as they curled into the corner of the couch like a ball. Their voice was exhausted but it sounded so soft and it left Ben with shivers.  
He couldn’t ignore that he was infatuated with them for much longer. His original plans had changed completely and now he was following around some person who he was absolutely longing to have a conversation with.  
Knowing he wasn’t supposed to be doing this, he haunted people to insanity for fun, Ben decided he’d give himself a break. One night of comfort and back to being the video game ghost he was usually.  
This would not have any long-term effects. Absolutely not.  
  
An aching for touch seemed to consume Ben as he looked on at their small form, feeling more safe and content than he ever had since he died. He looked down at his hands, contemplating his next move.  
  
When the end of a haunting came, touching his victims was only appropriate, and they’d react as if he was alive. A push here, a tap there, it was easy to get a scream out of them.  
At that point he’d usually let himself become visible, it was only natural of course. He could touch them, he could grab them and haul them along, but hurting him was near impossible. Though it's not like any of his victims had ever truly tried.  
  
The place things seemed to get blurry was when it wasn’t at the end of a haunting, when his victim didn’t even realize he was there. Touching them then seemed to make them react, but in what exact way was unclear. He hadn’t experimented much, after all, he usually only went after one kind of person, the type who lived alone. And that didn’t bring much variety nor specifics to the table for voicing what they felt in the times they had been touched.  
  
_‘Never hurt to try,’_ Ben thought as he sought after the comfort he desired. He leaned over their balled up form, warmth instantly flooding his senses as he did so.  
They visibly tensed after a moment; they felt him pushing into them but to what extent he had no clue yet. They raised their head towards Ben, noses near touching and angled at a way that had him near pushing forward at. But he knew better than to do that, at least.  
  
Their eyes had yet to widen as they looked around the room, likely trying to find the source of the added weight he guessed. They seemed to find nothing, though that was to be expected when the added weight was invisible.  
They pointed their gaze toward the ceiling as they uncurled, now laying across the entire couch and leaving Ben sprawled on top of them. They chuckled, a sad shine to their eyes, “Maybe (F/n) was right, my own loneliness is eating away at my reality.”  
  
It was only at that moment did Ben realize how strange his situation was; he was a ghost who was absolutely smothering a person he hadn’t said a word to because they made him feel safe without even knowing he existed.  
In a way, they pointed out to Ben that his own loneliness was distorting his perception of reality, albeit indirectly. But maybe that wasn’t so bad, this felt good after all and it had been the first time in a while that something felt good to Ben.  
  
As he lay there on top of them he listened to their heartbeat. Thump after thump came along, nearly lulling him to sleep. It wasn’t quite possible for Ben to sleep since he wasn’t alive, but he could get close to it and they seemed to be doing just the trick.  
They thumped their fingers along the couch, a steady rhythm starting as they began humming a song Ben didn’t know. The tune was entrancing, however, leaving him with the ever-growing warmth in his heart about to erupt.  
  
It wasn’t fair that he couldn’t talk to them. He looked up at their face which still rose to the ceiling. He wanted to speak with them, tell a few jokes and hear what beautiful laugh he knew they must’ve had.  
Maybe they liked video games and they could play a few, he could see that cute frustrated face of their’s again and feel his heart swell in his chest as they huffed in agitation.  
  
Perhaps they wouldn’t have to know about his hobby of scaring people to literal death, they might even not mind. Supposedly they’d take up all his time away from his little hobby.  
  
_‘Maybe this wasn’t going to be a “just tonight” sort of deal.’_ Ben near laughed at how not even 10 minutes ago he was planning on letting this person go without a trace. Yeah, there was no way that was happening now, not unless they explicitly told him to leave.   


	2. And every person seems more beautiful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They had fallen asleep. It had been far longer than 30 minutes, it had to have been. In that time Ben had learned a few things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to a couple of comments, I finished a sequel. I hope this is just as enjoyed as the previous chapter, especially since it actually has the reader and Ben himself interacting.

They had fallen asleep. It had been far longer than 30 minutes, it had to have been. In that time Ben had learned a few things.  
The first? Resting on someone who was asleep was not the best idea.  
Breathing low and soft, they twisted to their side and sent Ben straight off of them. He almost thought they had woken up and seen him somehow until he realized they were still asleep.   
The second thing he had learned was from looking at their phone. Or rather, going into their phone. He looked at the array of apps they had, before immediately heading to their photos.   
  
His heart fluttered as he skimmed through the pictures they had of themselves. He felt soft for the first time in a long while just staring at their smiling face, every ounce of his being doing backflips.  
_‘How lonely must I be to be this infatuated with someone I haven’t even properly met?’_ The thought skimmed his mind briefly before he nodded it off. He was having fun for the first time in a very long while, he reminded himself, and continued looking through their phone.   
  
It didn’t take long to figure out what they had interests in, though what those interests actually were did surprise Ben. _‘Must’ve struck gold with this one’_ He thought.   
Ghosts, the supernatural, you name it. Along with games? It was a miracle, Ben couldn’t believe what he was seeing as he searched through their phone to see they liked things he either liked as well or was.   
  
That was the second thing Ben had learned. The last thing he had learned was the cherry on top of it all.   
Single; they were single. Ben didn’t have any 100% sign of a green light but if he did, this was it.   
  
It was only after coming to this conclusion that Ben had realized that they had awoken. And not only that, but were texting away to that friend of their’s.   
  
(F/n): Are you still here? Hello?  
  
(F/n): Did you straight up walk home on me?  
  
(Y/n): No, I didn’t walk home on you, silly. I got overwhelmed and ended up falling asleep in the study.   
  
(F/n): So much for you getting out and having a good time. Anyways, I have good news for me and probably, maybe, likely, bad news for you.  
  
  
They scowled, and it took everything within Ben not to reach out and cup their frustrated face in his hands.  
  
(Y/n): Are you seriously going to make me stay here. Like, actually. For real.   
  
(F/n): Please, (Y/n)! I promise it won’t be for too much longer!   
  
(Y/n): You promised the last time that we would leave in 30 minutes and now it's way past that and you are still trying to make me stay here. Please, can we just go?  
  
(F/n): Listen, I’ll make you a deal. We stay for another hour and I will play whatever game you want to play for a month, whenever, wherever. I’ll also throw in 20 dollars!  
  
A smile crossed their face, and with a giggle that had Ben’s heart heating up even further on the spot, they replied.  
  
(Y/n): I really do like shaking hands with the devil that is you, huh? You have yourself a deal, (F/n).   
  
(F/n): Great doing business with you, my friend! Now don’t enter the guest bedroom upstairs and I’ll see you in an hour.  
  
  
Quirking their eyebrow, they rolled their eyes and put their phone on the cushion beside them. Ben noticed they had become quite a bit more expressive since they had awoken, it seemed the nap really did them well.   
But that led him to his next train of thought; What to do until they left? It was clear to him that he wasn’t going to be leaving without them so he’d likely hitch a ride in their phone, but still. A place like this offered many opportunities.   
  
_‘A little risk in a time like this wouldn’t hurt,’_ A quick acknowledgment as he quickly grew bored of simply looking at them from their phone. He exited their phone smoothly, reverting back to the transparent figure he still wasn’t exactly used to.  
  
He stood in front of them now, watching them as they tapped their fingers on the couch, clearly bored. _‘Just a little risk,’_ He convinced himself, slowly figuring how he was going to execute the little plan that was slowly coming to his mind.   
He wanted to know them, to talk to them, to hold them. He wanted to be acknowledged by them. And my oh my, was that want slowly overcoming his entire being, throwing the whole idea of ‘playing it safe’ out the window.   
  
He reached out, a hand on their hand. They jumped a little, looking toward it. When they found nothing, they seemed rather...disappointed? _‘How strange,’_   
When they did nothing but stay still, seeming as if to be waiting for something, anything, Ben decided he’d truly start playing with fire. He grasped their hand in his hold, lightly squeezing.   
  
Wide-eyed, they opened their mouth slowly. Nothing changed for a moment like that, just the tenderness and surprise that erupted from Ben and them. And then they whispered, barely audible; “Is someone holding my hand?”   
  
Ben’s only response at that moment was impulsive, stupid even. Through all the years of being alone and tormenting all the life he encountered, it seemed tenderness was finally erupting from him. And so? He replied.   
  
“Yes, there is.” The words dripped from his lips so cleanly yet his voice was weak, hoarse even. But the tone that underlined it all was clear; affection, warmth, and most of all, want.   
They looked straight at him, eyes blowing even wider than before. Their mouth gaped for a moment before closing once again for a good moment.  
  
What they did next took him by surprise. A gentle squeeze of their own on his hand, his face must’ve been glowing from how warm his cheeks felt. Another small while passed by until either of them spoke again.  
“Are you a ghost?” They asked, voice feathery soft and light, but it was clear that they weren’t confident in their questioning. They seemed nervous; afraid. Ben gulped.  
“You could say that.”  
  
And once again, the room fell silent. Their eyes had not left where he stood, strange as it must’ve been considering they most certainly could not see him in the slightest. Their next question had his heart aching.   
  
“Are you going to hurt me?” It was meek, quiet. Far smaller than their voice had been any other time they had spoken.   
  
He couldn’t help himself, he reached his other hand to cup their cheek, only to see them stiffen at his touch. “I couldn’t if I tried.”   
It was only after he uttered the words that he realized that could’ve been interpreted as he quite literally couldn’t hurt them but either way he didn’t know how they had. Whatever way they thought of it, it seemed they had received the message as their posture became far more relaxed.  
  
“Do you need something from me?” Their voice was steadier than it had been previously as they asked, which filled Ben with some sort of relief. However, their question left him puzzled on how to answer.   
_‘What do I want from you? A conversation, a touch, a kiss. Your heart,’_ His mind rattled on but at least he knew far better than to answer with any of those. Instead, he asked them a question instead of giving them an answer.   
  
“Can I hold you?” The question seemed odd coming from him, he wasn’t used to talking to people and definitely not used to asking for things. But no matter how awkwardly the words left him, it left them with a hitch in their breath and a flush on their face.  
Seconds passed as they simply stared at his space, not breathing, not moving. Simply looking on after what they thought was him. And then an answer.  
  
“If you would like to...?” They responded slowly. It was clear they were unsure of what they were agreeing to. But Ben didn’t give it a second thought, the butterflies in his stomach erupting as he quickly moved their phone to the side and took the space next to them on the couch.   
His movements were fast and it left them with a gasp as he quickly pulled them into his grasp. Firm yet gentle, his form engulfed them, his face buried in their neck as his hands took hold around their waist.   
  
They clearly weren’t used to this sort of thing, stiffening and holding their breath once more, but to be fair, he definitely wasn’t used to it either. He inhaled, snuggling against them, breathing in the faded scent of shampoo. All over them, he felt safe; content even.   
A deep breath, then an exhale slowly, they began to relax in his hold. Two hands found themselves trying to find something to grasp, unsteady as they found themselves on his arms.  
  
His heart felt as if it was beating so fast it was going to pop, holding them to him. He gave them an ever so light squeeze and quickly felt them melt further into him. Another nuzzle to their neck and they were gripping his arms. "You're a very warm and tender ghost." The words caught him off guard, especially with the gentleness they uttered them in.   
 "And you're a very soft and gentle person." As much as he cursed himself for it, the comment left his tongue wavering. They briefly giggled, a smile lighting up their face as they laid back further into him.   
  
It was going to be impossible to let them go. Absolutely unimaginable.    


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this fic, I ended up getting it out a lot sooner than I originally anticipated, as these things usually take me far longer to write. If you notice any grammatical errors, do tell if possible. Thank you.

**Author's Note:**

> If you notice any spelling/grammar errors feel free to tell me. I hope you enjoyed.


End file.
